CFL Central Columns

Of Sports, Politics, and Jack Layton

The backup quarterback syndrome… also known as the backup goalie phenomenon.
The most popular player on an average football team is – the backup quarterback.

Jack Layton was the consummate backup QB.
Never in any danger of getting in the game as the starter, Jack could wow the spectators with a perceived perfection from the sidelines… while the first stringer could play the tough game, take the beating, and make the odd mistake.
Jack could hold press conferences and talk about successful passes he would never throw… naturally Utopia sounds good to everyone – no matter whether in sports or politics.
The backup QB can have his own pet playbook, and talk about how the games would go if he were in… all without any danger of ever having to demonstrate the viability of a single play.
Fact is, it is far easier to be a pro QB from the sidelines – and it is a breeze to be the Prime Minister from a non-government seat in Parliament.

Analyzing and correcting some statements made during last week’s NDP campaign, disguised as the Layton State Funeral:
“Jack did so much for Canada”. Really? Like what exactly? He was never in government to implement policy… what did he do for me and other Canadians?
In reality – Jack furthered the cause of Jack Layton and the NDP party, nothing more.

“Canada has lost a great leader”. Really? What defined Jack as a great leader? Jack ran a 3rd place party and capitalized on a Bloc purge in Quebec.
Was Quebec legit? Considering the state of some of their absentee candidates, give me a break.
In reality – Jack was an average politician who never met a special interest cause he didn’t like. Jack talked a big game without ever needing to back his dreams and ideas up.

“Jack has the power to unify this nation”. Really? The great uniter? I for one never felt Jack Layton spoke for me, or ever would.
In reality – Jack was the mastermind of one of the most divisive periods in Canadian history… choosing to spit in the face of the voting public and attempting to form his own version of government, teamed up with the separatist Bloc and the “natural governing party” in the Liberals.

“Jack inspired hope in all Canadians”. Really? Speaking for myself, I didn’t quite feel hopeless to begin with… but Jack certainly didn’t expand my confidence one tiny bit.
The liberal democratic movement were always full of emotion when Jack pumped them up with his “brighter tomorrow” speeches.
In reality – Jack gave the same speeches for the last 9 years, while nothing had changed in his (lack of) ability to deliver the goods.

And thus ends a week of trumped up hysteria and corporate mourning – concluding with the utter nonsense of the CN Tower and Niagara Falls both being lit up in NDP orange on Saturday night.
After all, people always feel a deep sense of loss when their backup quarterback dies… all that “potential” and “if only” are now gone.
Rest in peace, Jack… the man few of us actually knew, but thousands pretended they did in the last couple weeks.

dave@cflcentral.net

Add comment August 29th, 2011

Anything BUT Pizza Hut

What does this diatribe have to do with sports?
Nothing – but I will try to squeeze in a couple metaphorical references to make you feel better.

I was reading a business article recently which indicated the Pizza Hut fortunes were down to a shadow of what they once were… sort of like a green CFL team we all know.
A large portion of their “dine in” establishments are gone, and even the take out only facilities are closing.
Does anyone feel the least bit sorry for these yahoo’s? Certainly not me!

Pizza Hut is pricing themselves right out of the highly saturated and competitive pizza/pasta market.
Years ago, some of the big players like Pepsico had the advantage with their infrastructure money – but now the product is far more important than the venue.
The Hut has never been known for their reasonable pricing, but they were always at least close to most of the other pizza suppliers.
NOW their prices are sky-high and outrageous… their product is average to below-average – bland and mass produced.
Fresh ingredients? Forget it… everything comes packaged – and tastes like it.
Their pasta is one step above a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli… yet they charge Italian restaurant prices.
Their chicken “wings” have a range of pretty good to stale… but their “boneless wings” are a ripoff, no bigger than Chicken McNuggets – but a buck each.

So here is a recent delivery bill from the Hut:
10pc boneless wings… 9.99
Large (they say 12″ pizza, but it is 10″) 2 topping pizza… 21.49
————————-
SubTotal: 31.48
Debit Fee: 1.50 * you could order $1,000 worth of product, which is only a few more pies – and you still get nailed the debit fee.
Delivery Charge: 3.40 ** again, no amount of contribution to the PH cause will get you out of this “surcharge”.
Prov. Tax: 0.00
GST: 1.81
————————–
Total: 38.19

Yep, 38 bucks for a 10″ pizza and 10 wings… and then the drivers STILL expect a tip – even with the 60 to 90 minute “service”.
How about the staff – who according to the same business article, are some of the lowest paid in the industry.
And the chances of getting someone on the phone who knows English… are about as good as Chris “wide right” Milo making a 40 yard field goal.
Contrast this with TJ’s Pizza – an extra large 2 topping (fresh ingredients) pizza with taxes included is $21.95… and no debit or delivery charges.

So add me to the list of former Pizza Hut customers.
It will be interesting to see how stubborn the pointy heads are with the silly pricing, when the only customers they have are crickets.
There is the diversity report for a CFL bye week!

dave@cflcentral.net

Add comment August 19th, 2011

DICK AUSTIN

There’s no place like home — two-time Roughrider deadbeat and new Ivy Leaguer Richard Kent Austin has a 1-4 record in his inaugural season as head coach of the Cornell Big Red — he must have misunderstood the phone call and thought that Cornell played in the “I-ME” league . . .

tracy@cflcentral.net

1 comment October 23rd, 2010